i'm backkk again! haha.
news:
my mom is here and we are having fun with her. N has been cooking for her every day and she loves his african dishes :-)
i was asked to read poetry at a premiere event for the opening of a new nonprofit on the 29th of august. i am so excited and nervous because it will be the first time my family members will hear me read my work!
i just ordered some hot business cards in order to promote my poetry blog and freelance writing articles :-)
i have been relaxing all summer long! reading every single day and writing tons.
oh yeah, i am addicted to The Wire and now own all the seasons. currently on season 2.
i had a dream about my new students last night...ALREADY! haha.
and last but certainly NOT LEAST.....I AM DOWN TO 144 POUNDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! only 4 pounds away from my ideal weight which is 140! this year i went up to 157 and i never want to see that number again. i got enough booty :-)
oh yeah, AF IS HERE! ahhhhh, feeling like a woman!
love, peace and nappiness <3
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Green Card, Cycle Day 49 and More!
hello world!
isn't it shocking that i am back so soon? well i will thank the summer for that one. lol. so let me update you.
1) N got his 10 year green card in the mail yesterday! the interview was fine and they asked us tons of personal questions, but hey it's over. the woman who interviewed us was a sista and she seemed really serious and intense, but in the end, she could tell that our marriage was "real" and not fraud. ahhh, the trials of being married to someone from another country. anyhow, that is OVER! so much paperwork. and then at the last minute, she took the copy of my tax returns from two years...i was kind of annoyed by that because now it means i will have to get another copy, which i can, but ugh. anyway, N has his greencard which means we can travel together which is good.
2) what do you know? it's cycle day 49! but what else is new? i started taking vitex on cycle day 22 of my last cycle and i have been taking it religiously. i am actually taking femaprin which is supposed to be the BEST form of vitex. i also take a female hormonal complex vitamin, a multivitamin, as well as B-6. i feel great, but where on earth is my period? i have been taking the vitex for almost a month now. i will wait at least until cycle day 60 to perhaps take a pregnancy test, although i really don't want to. please period, ARRIVE! ahhh, had to get that out, now i feel better.
3) in other news, i have been freelancing again and already in one week i wrote 9 articles! i'm feeling really good about it because i love writing articles and also lots of people are reading. one of the positive aspects of social networks like facebook and twitter is that i get to shamelessly self-promote my work and people read. also, the more people read, the more i get paid. i get paid an amount upfront and then every time 1000 people view my page/article, i get a royalty payment. i already have 678 page views. woot, woot!
4) i have discovered the beach again after walking to coney island from my house yesterday (6.5 miles! go me!) and it was great. there was a salsa band, kids playing, bad fried and fatty food, just good times. lol.
that is pretty much all for now. i plan on enjoying sunday relaxation and reading/writing :-)
peace, love and nappiness <3
isn't it shocking that i am back so soon? well i will thank the summer for that one. lol. so let me update you.
1) N got his 10 year green card in the mail yesterday! the interview was fine and they asked us tons of personal questions, but hey it's over. the woman who interviewed us was a sista and she seemed really serious and intense, but in the end, she could tell that our marriage was "real" and not fraud. ahhh, the trials of being married to someone from another country. anyhow, that is OVER! so much paperwork. and then at the last minute, she took the copy of my tax returns from two years...i was kind of annoyed by that because now it means i will have to get another copy, which i can, but ugh. anyway, N has his greencard which means we can travel together which is good.
2) what do you know? it's cycle day 49! but what else is new? i started taking vitex on cycle day 22 of my last cycle and i have been taking it religiously. i am actually taking femaprin which is supposed to be the BEST form of vitex. i also take a female hormonal complex vitamin, a multivitamin, as well as B-6. i feel great, but where on earth is my period? i have been taking the vitex for almost a month now. i will wait at least until cycle day 60 to perhaps take a pregnancy test, although i really don't want to. please period, ARRIVE! ahhh, had to get that out, now i feel better.
3) in other news, i have been freelancing again and already in one week i wrote 9 articles! i'm feeling really good about it because i love writing articles and also lots of people are reading. one of the positive aspects of social networks like facebook and twitter is that i get to shamelessly self-promote my work and people read. also, the more people read, the more i get paid. i get paid an amount upfront and then every time 1000 people view my page/article, i get a royalty payment. i already have 678 page views. woot, woot!
4) i have discovered the beach again after walking to coney island from my house yesterday (6.5 miles! go me!) and it was great. there was a salsa band, kids playing, bad fried and fatty food, just good times. lol.
that is pretty much all for now. i plan on enjoying sunday relaxation and reading/writing :-)
peace, love and nappiness <3
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
it's been a long time (once again) lol
ahhh, so i'm back. it seems like forever but i decided it was time to update. where do i begin? well, summer vacation started and i am so happy it has finally arrived. this is the 3rd week of summer vacation. it began with relaxation, loads and loads of reading (yay) and spending more time with my husband. then, the big one, my husband became really sick, shivering, a fever of 103, and just couldn't move much. i finally called 911 after he started shaking again! it was scary, he was rushed to the ER, after we happened to be in an ambulance with two very unprofessional EMT's. they were talking about their lives and their boyfriends, while my husband seemed to be on a death bed. i wanted to scream. anyway, we got to the hospital and all the tests confirmed he was fine but that he apparently had a bad case of the flu and strep throat. they gave him antibiotics and we left after 7.5 grueling hours. boo. although i always knew this, i have learned that the healthcare system is very much equivalent to the public school system, bureaucratic and filled with systematic bullshit. ER doctors don't really have time to talk one-on-one with patients because they are so busy and overworked, not to mention they have to document and chart every single thing they do, which only takes away more time from the patient. grrr. so systematic and such bullshit.
it has been 2 weeks since N got sick and now he is feeling much better. we followed up with the doctor and it looks like the throat infection has cleared up, so he will be back to work on thursday as per doctors orders. whew!
in other news, tomorrow is N's interview for his greencard. i cannot wait until it is here and i hope everything goes well because i am so over all of the paperwork and incessant questions about our lives. come on already! the interview is in the morning, i will give you the update at some point, lol.
hmmm, so now i guess i feel free to talk about my PCOS here. back in 2006 i was diagnosed with a mild case of PCOS which means i don't suffer from insulin resistance, type 2 diabetes, obesity or random hair everywhere, just irregular periods. at first when i found out, i was so shocked and devastated. but after talking to my mom, who told me that doctors told her the same thing, i felt better. mummy, who is such a trini said, "girl dey told me the same ting. it means nothing." haha. well thanks mom, but it does mean something. it means that i do have to watch the things i eat and continue to maintain a healthy weight. now although doctors insist that my weight is perfectly healthy, once i got married, my periods became extremely irregular. they used to be about 35 days apart all the time. then suddenly i went 2 months, sometimes 3 without my period. this did not make me happy. i happily got back on the workout bandwagon and i got a period last month. still waiting for this month. i have also introduced the natural herb vitex to my daily supplements. i have read on tons of blogs and in science journals that this is a miracle herb and sooo many women have regulated their periods this way. it has been 2 weeks that i have been taking it so far. i know i have to be patient so i will. :-) i am taking the femaprin brand. i hope it works just as well for me, as it has worked for other women.
and last but certainly not least, writing. my goal this summer is to send things out more. i have 2 completed manuscripts, one is a memoir, the other is poetry. they just need to go, go, go! lol. now that N is better, i can stop being a nurse and continue to work on my writing again. lol. oh, the joys of being a wife and a writer.
until next time...
peace and nappines <3
it has been 2 weeks since N got sick and now he is feeling much better. we followed up with the doctor and it looks like the throat infection has cleared up, so he will be back to work on thursday as per doctors orders. whew!
in other news, tomorrow is N's interview for his greencard. i cannot wait until it is here and i hope everything goes well because i am so over all of the paperwork and incessant questions about our lives. come on already! the interview is in the morning, i will give you the update at some point, lol.
hmmm, so now i guess i feel free to talk about my PCOS here. back in 2006 i was diagnosed with a mild case of PCOS which means i don't suffer from insulin resistance, type 2 diabetes, obesity or random hair everywhere, just irregular periods. at first when i found out, i was so shocked and devastated. but after talking to my mom, who told me that doctors told her the same thing, i felt better. mummy, who is such a trini said, "girl dey told me the same ting. it means nothing." haha. well thanks mom, but it does mean something. it means that i do have to watch the things i eat and continue to maintain a healthy weight. now although doctors insist that my weight is perfectly healthy, once i got married, my periods became extremely irregular. they used to be about 35 days apart all the time. then suddenly i went 2 months, sometimes 3 without my period. this did not make me happy. i happily got back on the workout bandwagon and i got a period last month. still waiting for this month. i have also introduced the natural herb vitex to my daily supplements. i have read on tons of blogs and in science journals that this is a miracle herb and sooo many women have regulated their periods this way. it has been 2 weeks that i have been taking it so far. i know i have to be patient so i will. :-) i am taking the femaprin brand. i hope it works just as well for me, as it has worked for other women.
and last but certainly not least, writing. my goal this summer is to send things out more. i have 2 completed manuscripts, one is a memoir, the other is poetry. they just need to go, go, go! lol. now that N is better, i can stop being a nurse and continue to work on my writing again. lol. oh, the joys of being a wife and a writer.
until next time...
peace and nappines <3
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
I'm NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR CHILD!
ok so it has been a long time, but i feel the urgent need to update. first things first, overall, things have been pretty good professionally and personally and i have been beginning to feel like i have been in one state of euphoria after another: N and I have been doing really well marriage-wise for the past 7 months! my students (for the most part) heart me and are learning! i got tenure this year as a teacher! woohoo!
now for the drama. so today began as a good day. i was sitting in my classroom during 4th period about to enter some grades (prep period) when suddenly the AP comes into my room to tell me that a parent wanted to see me. I asked what it was in regards to and the principal said the parent wouldn't say. now the child of this parent is doing okay in my class (79.77 average). she could definitely be doing much better, however, she doesn't put enough effort into her work and it shows in everything she writes. my teaching style as an english teacher is not to put a red mark on every single thing a child writes because a) it doesn't teach them anything at all and b) it is virtually impossible for me to do that for 120 students!
anyway, this parent arrives and she walks into my classroom filled with lots of attitude and hostility which already pissed me off and made me not want to talk to her at all, ESPECIALLY DURING MY PREP! so she walks in and proceeds to say that her child has serious spelling issues (which her child does, especially considering the fact that she is in 9th grade). now granted, her child is not the worst speller in my class, however, she is definitely not the best either. so this crazy woman actually says to me: "my child was filling out an application for a summer job the other day and she spelled so many words wrong, and the only thing i could think was, it has to be her english teacher's fault!" WTF?! how is it my fault that your 15 year old daughter has serious spelling/grammar issues. i have been teaching your child for approximately 6.5 months if you count all of the vacation time and i see her for 4 hours a week! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? HOW DARE YOU BLAME ME FOR SOMETHING YOUR CHILD SHOULD HAVE MASTERED BY THE 5TH GRADE?! i was so angry and seriously wanted to tell this woman to get out of my classroom. how can i be responsible for your daughter not knowing how to fill out a job application? and when she as a parent realized that, why didn't she do something about it?
i try my very best to be the most effective educator i can be. i get to school most days at 6:50am when school starts at 8:30am just to grade papers and go over my lessons. i don't have to do this but i choose to because i love teaching and i love my students. but seriously, i have a damn life and i am not a teacher 24/7. i am someone's daughter, sister, wife, friend and last but CERTAINLY not least, i am a writer! i have other things going on in my life thank you very much crazy parent! research has proven that it is not effective to correct all of student's spelling/grammatical errors for them, because then they never really learn how to spell or put sentences in order. in fact, i NEVER had teachers in high school hold my hand through everything. i had to take INITIATIVE and figure things out on my own because that is the purpose of education, TO BECOME INDEPENDENT. ughhh!
although i love teaching, it is way too much and i just cannot take all of the ridiculous crap that good teachers are often inundated with (ie: paperwork, pushy and irritating parents, systematic bullshit, etc.) i just want to teach and not deal with the bullshit. and guess what? students need to be motivated and take initiative damnit. it is NOT my job to teach your child manners (which i do on a daily basis) or listen to all of their problems (which i am always doing), or give them extra materials to do projects! that is YOUR DAMN JOB AS A PARENT.
when will parents take some damn responsibility for the education of their children?! when will good teachers be fully respected and not have to deal with dumb ass parents? arghhhhh! thankfully my principal was very supportive and sat through my entire meeting with that parent, however, at my old school, that parent wouldn't have been allowed in my room, PERIOD! make an appointment!
for the last time, I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR CHILD!
now for the drama. so today began as a good day. i was sitting in my classroom during 4th period about to enter some grades (prep period) when suddenly the AP comes into my room to tell me that a parent wanted to see me. I asked what it was in regards to and the principal said the parent wouldn't say. now the child of this parent is doing okay in my class (79.77 average). she could definitely be doing much better, however, she doesn't put enough effort into her work and it shows in everything she writes. my teaching style as an english teacher is not to put a red mark on every single thing a child writes because a) it doesn't teach them anything at all and b) it is virtually impossible for me to do that for 120 students!
anyway, this parent arrives and she walks into my classroom filled with lots of attitude and hostility which already pissed me off and made me not want to talk to her at all, ESPECIALLY DURING MY PREP! so she walks in and proceeds to say that her child has serious spelling issues (which her child does, especially considering the fact that she is in 9th grade). now granted, her child is not the worst speller in my class, however, she is definitely not the best either. so this crazy woman actually says to me: "my child was filling out an application for a summer job the other day and she spelled so many words wrong, and the only thing i could think was, it has to be her english teacher's fault!" WTF?! how is it my fault that your 15 year old daughter has serious spelling/grammar issues. i have been teaching your child for approximately 6.5 months if you count all of the vacation time and i see her for 4 hours a week! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? HOW DARE YOU BLAME ME FOR SOMETHING YOUR CHILD SHOULD HAVE MASTERED BY THE 5TH GRADE?! i was so angry and seriously wanted to tell this woman to get out of my classroom. how can i be responsible for your daughter not knowing how to fill out a job application? and when she as a parent realized that, why didn't she do something about it?
i try my very best to be the most effective educator i can be. i get to school most days at 6:50am when school starts at 8:30am just to grade papers and go over my lessons. i don't have to do this but i choose to because i love teaching and i love my students. but seriously, i have a damn life and i am not a teacher 24/7. i am someone's daughter, sister, wife, friend and last but CERTAINLY not least, i am a writer! i have other things going on in my life thank you very much crazy parent! research has proven that it is not effective to correct all of student's spelling/grammatical errors for them, because then they never really learn how to spell or put sentences in order. in fact, i NEVER had teachers in high school hold my hand through everything. i had to take INITIATIVE and figure things out on my own because that is the purpose of education, TO BECOME INDEPENDENT. ughhh!
although i love teaching, it is way too much and i just cannot take all of the ridiculous crap that good teachers are often inundated with (ie: paperwork, pushy and irritating parents, systematic bullshit, etc.) i just want to teach and not deal with the bullshit. and guess what? students need to be motivated and take initiative damnit. it is NOT my job to teach your child manners (which i do on a daily basis) or listen to all of their problems (which i am always doing), or give them extra materials to do projects! that is YOUR DAMN JOB AS A PARENT.
when will parents take some damn responsibility for the education of their children?! when will good teachers be fully respected and not have to deal with dumb ass parents? arghhhhh! thankfully my principal was very supportive and sat through my entire meeting with that parent, however, at my old school, that parent wouldn't have been allowed in my room, PERIOD! make an appointment!
for the last time, I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR CHILD!
Sunday, February 15, 2009
new year, new beginnings
yes, i know it has been a LONG TIME! there is so much to say. i don't even know where to begin. my poetry blog makes me really happy. i have some followers and i have been writing so much. feels good. i have also discovered some other great writers in the blogsphere. one of my poems was chosen as poem of the day on a blog site. another essay that i wrote was chosen to be published in an anthology which will be published this summer. YES! i am so happy and excited and grateful and bubbly all over.
teaching is good. i was called a "master teacher" by my principal the other day which is of course flattering. i actually thought i would quit back in november. it wasn't because anything happened, but because i was bored. however, like love, the up and down range of emotions, i am back to my high of teaching. it comes and goes. hey. c'est la vie. and my students clearly love me and i of course, love them. that is such a warm, fuzzy feeling. speaking of students, i got a prank call yesterday on valentine's day of all days from a grown ass man who i didn't know. he claimed he was one of my students, which i don't believe because he didn't sound like the student he said he was. anyhow, he proclaimed he would be my future husband and that he couldn't concentrate in class due to my fat ass...lovely.
in other news, love is good. my husband and i went through a very rough patch in november, the roughest of them all. we went to counseling and it really changed our lives in so many ways. first of all, i realize that he had a lot of repressed anger, which he needed to let out. he let it out in the wrong way, and i believe in my heart that it will never happen again. we have learned to continue to love in the midst of a storm, a tempest to be exact. and that feels good. things have been so much better that i feel like i'm walking on a cloud. however, i know this renewal was due to counseling, prayer, endless support from family/friends, and just plain old love.
well it is no secret that i love to read. i'm always reading. i know and believe that reading makes you a better writer. and reading so much is affecting my writing in a good way. i'm on the site goodreads.com and i have become obsessed. i love updating what book i just finished, while providing a critique of the book. it is so much fun and i have other friends who are just as obsessed with reading and update all the time! haha, so corny! my husband made a joke that if i could, i would probably eat books. LOL.
i am currently rereading The God of Small Things which i read in college during my senior comprehensive exams. i don't remember a thing, but i remember it was amazing, so i'm reading it again. it's so powerful and painful, yet beautiful. thank the heavens for poetry and prose.
i guess i will go back to reading my book for now.
i promise to return sooner rather than later.
peace & nappiness <3
teaching is good. i was called a "master teacher" by my principal the other day which is of course flattering. i actually thought i would quit back in november. it wasn't because anything happened, but because i was bored. however, like love, the up and down range of emotions, i am back to my high of teaching. it comes and goes. hey. c'est la vie. and my students clearly love me and i of course, love them. that is such a warm, fuzzy feeling. speaking of students, i got a prank call yesterday on valentine's day of all days from a grown ass man who i didn't know. he claimed he was one of my students, which i don't believe because he didn't sound like the student he said he was. anyhow, he proclaimed he would be my future husband and that he couldn't concentrate in class due to my fat ass...lovely.
in other news, love is good. my husband and i went through a very rough patch in november, the roughest of them all. we went to counseling and it really changed our lives in so many ways. first of all, i realize that he had a lot of repressed anger, which he needed to let out. he let it out in the wrong way, and i believe in my heart that it will never happen again. we have learned to continue to love in the midst of a storm, a tempest to be exact. and that feels good. things have been so much better that i feel like i'm walking on a cloud. however, i know this renewal was due to counseling, prayer, endless support from family/friends, and just plain old love.
well it is no secret that i love to read. i'm always reading. i know and believe that reading makes you a better writer. and reading so much is affecting my writing in a good way. i'm on the site goodreads.com and i have become obsessed. i love updating what book i just finished, while providing a critique of the book. it is so much fun and i have other friends who are just as obsessed with reading and update all the time! haha, so corny! my husband made a joke that if i could, i would probably eat books. LOL.
i am currently rereading The God of Small Things which i read in college during my senior comprehensive exams. i don't remember a thing, but i remember it was amazing, so i'm reading it again. it's so powerful and painful, yet beautiful. thank the heavens for poetry and prose.
i guess i will go back to reading my book for now.
i promise to return sooner rather than later.
peace & nappiness <3
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Our 2 Year Wedding Anniversary!
today is our 2 year wedding anniversary and i am so happy! i took the day off (yes, it's that serious) so that me and my hubby could spend the entire day together (he had the day off!) it feels sooo good, and tonight we will be going out to dinner. i can't believe it has been two years already!
woohoo.
love, peace and nappiness <3
woohoo.
love, peace and nappiness <3
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
in love
i am in love with my husband. i am reflecting on the past year and i am realizing that throughout all the good and bad over the past year, there has been way more good than bad. sometimes it is hard to see the good when you are so stuck on the bad. my husband isn't perfect, but he tries so hard. he tries to love me when i am beautiful and when i am not. when i fall, he picks me up. sometimes he isn't fast enough, but he will get there. and i will get there. i am learning that love and life is not always a fairy tale. however, life has been damned good to me! for that, i am grateful. things are going well. writing has been going well and i love my poetry blog! it just makes me ridiculously happy. i am also enjoying my 3rd year of teaching. i always heard others say that the 3rd year is great because you just know what you are doing and everything seems clear. it is so damn true. i got the kids on lock! haha. and they like me too, so that doesn't hurt. my principal came to observe yesterday and he was so impressed with my classroom and the student-centered learning! woohoo! and the teacher i can't stand whom i will call "shakespeare" came in to observe, for fun, on her prep! she said she had an amazing time in my room! ahhhhhh.......i am on a natural high today.
la vie est belle.
peace & nappiness <3
Sunday, October 12, 2008
language is power
We die. That may be the meaning of life. But we do language. That may be the measure of our lives.
Toni Morrison
i am an english teacher. there is a reason why i teach english. i love it. teaching english doesn't feel like a job to me, because i love it so much. so much to the point, that i defend why i teach english to other people. i had a huge debate with some teachers at my school this week. now, don't get me wrong, i like the teachers at my school and i respect them very much. i don't necessarily love all of them, but i respect them and their craft. anyhow, we got into a discussion about teaching "urban fiction" in the classroom. i happen to be teaching a book that falls under that genre and i will be teaching two more this year. i will also be teaching 'romeo & juliet' and 'catcher in the rye'. i started off with urban fiction because i know that this draws teenagers' attention because they can actually see themselves in a book. it is so important for teenagers to have a reflection of themselves in a book. especially teenagers from inner-city environments. although i had a great high school experience, one of the things i remember, was never reading about anyone who looked like me. i mean we read 'things fall apart' in 9th grade and in 11th grade there was 'invisible man' but that was it. two books in my entire high school career. can one say that is fair? luckily enough, i have always loved reading and had a thirst for it, thus i would read any and everything i could get my hands on. working at the new york public library all throughout high school helped with my love for reading as well. books were always at my disposal.
so back to me now, the teacher, the english teacher. another english teacher said to me: "why are they reading that book? they should be reading books that challenge them. that book is on a seventh grade level." at this point, i couldn't believe what i was hearing, especially considering the fact that this teacher has never read the book. well, i could believe it because this same teacher only taught her students shakespeare last year because she believed it was more 'intellectual'. what does it mean when we tell students that literature written about their experiences are not good enough? what in turn are we telling them about who they are? i was so angry. angry that someone as ignorant as her, is a teacher. i was also angry, because the other teachers in the room agreed with everything she said and i was the only one advocating for my kids to read books that they can relate to. now, that doesn't mean that they will only read books about them. however, once they can appreciate literature in any form, especially literature that speaks to them, then they will be able to relate to anything else. isn't that common sense? aren't we as educators also supposed to celebrate who our children are?
i was so angry that i started cursing, and i ended the discussion. the annoying teacher who i will call dumbass, continues to talk to me, telling me that she understands what am i saying but that she chooses to "challenge" her students. in my mind i'm thinking, are you implying that i am not challenging my kids? literature is all about interpretation, no matter what level it is on! i am teaching my kids how to interpret a character, a text, a plot, a theme. those are all elements of literature and reading comprehension. we then write about what we have read. what an ignorant idiot! and NO, spelling tests does not build a child's vocabulary. it only shows you that a child can memorize 20 words and spit it back to you. that is not learning and i will NEVER teach that way.
i must admit that part of the problem has been that students are going around talking about how much they enjoy my class. now, i am not tooting my own horn, but part of the reason why students feel comfortable in my class and always have, is because my classroom is always student-centered. it is all about the students and i tell them this. we have class discussions/debates almost everyday, we write and discuss everyday, and i get some of the "worst" students to participate. this is what i have always done, because I LOVE IT! why can't people understand that? my principal is always raving about how amazing my classroom looks and how engaging my lessons are and i think some of the other teachers are feeling resentful. i mean, a lot of them complain. they complain about how 'slow' the kids are and how much more work they have to do because many of our 9th graders are on a 7th grade level. but for me, i always see the best in a kid in spite of their flaws. YES, many of them are behind, YES, some of them don't have that much parental support, YES, some of them are lazy, YES, you literally have to pull stuff out of their heads but.....I FUCKING LOVE DOING THAT! IT EXCITES ME! and i'm thinking that if these other teachers are having such a problem, why don't they go teach in a private school where everything will be "perfect?"
at the end of the discussion we got into language. these teachers were saying our kids can't talk "properly". i made the point that telling students that the way they speak is wrong is also telling them that who they are is wrong. i always do a series of lessons on codeswitching which i have started already. i introduced this because i wanted students to think about how they change how they speak depending on their environment. i also tell students the necessity of codeswitching is essential to survival in our country. yet still, i would never correct a student when they say, "i be acting crazy." as long as students understand that they would never put that in a formal essay, i let it go. i want students to feel free in my classroom and that is something i have always fostered into my teaching style. i also learned a lot from my linguistics class which i took while doing my masters. there were several studies that were done which proved that vocabulary and spelling tests do not work to build up a child's word bank. instead, incessant reading on a daily basis builds a child's vocabulary. it has been proven! the most vocabulary i ever learned was in my english teacher Mr. Guc's class. he would write a word on the board with a definition every day. we had to copy it down in our notebooks. Mr. Guc would use the words throughout the week in class discussions, etc. That was it. We were never tested on the words, ever! and i remember all of the words, and the definitions, because of his techniques in the classroom. I would even use the words in my papers, homework, because i wanted to!
language is power. most people of color are speaking a language of a colonizer. we don't even know our original language, which wasn't english or spanish. the english and the spanish colonized us and forced their language onto us. we had no choice. is it fair for us to now force these languages down the throats of our students, without acknowledging the many different types of language they use on a daily basis? that is racist, one-sided, and biased. and guess what, all of these teachers were black. sigh.
peace & nappiness
Toni Morrison
i am an english teacher. there is a reason why i teach english. i love it. teaching english doesn't feel like a job to me, because i love it so much. so much to the point, that i defend why i teach english to other people. i had a huge debate with some teachers at my school this week. now, don't get me wrong, i like the teachers at my school and i respect them very much. i don't necessarily love all of them, but i respect them and their craft. anyhow, we got into a discussion about teaching "urban fiction" in the classroom. i happen to be teaching a book that falls under that genre and i will be teaching two more this year. i will also be teaching 'romeo & juliet' and 'catcher in the rye'. i started off with urban fiction because i know that this draws teenagers' attention because they can actually see themselves in a book. it is so important for teenagers to have a reflection of themselves in a book. especially teenagers from inner-city environments. although i had a great high school experience, one of the things i remember, was never reading about anyone who looked like me. i mean we read 'things fall apart' in 9th grade and in 11th grade there was 'invisible man' but that was it. two books in my entire high school career. can one say that is fair? luckily enough, i have always loved reading and had a thirst for it, thus i would read any and everything i could get my hands on. working at the new york public library all throughout high school helped with my love for reading as well. books were always at my disposal.
so back to me now, the teacher, the english teacher. another english teacher said to me: "why are they reading that book? they should be reading books that challenge them. that book is on a seventh grade level." at this point, i couldn't believe what i was hearing, especially considering the fact that this teacher has never read the book. well, i could believe it because this same teacher only taught her students shakespeare last year because she believed it was more 'intellectual'. what does it mean when we tell students that literature written about their experiences are not good enough? what in turn are we telling them about who they are? i was so angry. angry that someone as ignorant as her, is a teacher. i was also angry, because the other teachers in the room agreed with everything she said and i was the only one advocating for my kids to read books that they can relate to. now, that doesn't mean that they will only read books about them. however, once they can appreciate literature in any form, especially literature that speaks to them, then they will be able to relate to anything else. isn't that common sense? aren't we as educators also supposed to celebrate who our children are?
i was so angry that i started cursing, and i ended the discussion. the annoying teacher who i will call dumbass, continues to talk to me, telling me that she understands what am i saying but that she chooses to "challenge" her students. in my mind i'm thinking, are you implying that i am not challenging my kids? literature is all about interpretation, no matter what level it is on! i am teaching my kids how to interpret a character, a text, a plot, a theme. those are all elements of literature and reading comprehension. we then write about what we have read. what an ignorant idiot! and NO, spelling tests does not build a child's vocabulary. it only shows you that a child can memorize 20 words and spit it back to you. that is not learning and i will NEVER teach that way.
i must admit that part of the problem has been that students are going around talking about how much they enjoy my class. now, i am not tooting my own horn, but part of the reason why students feel comfortable in my class and always have, is because my classroom is always student-centered. it is all about the students and i tell them this. we have class discussions/debates almost everyday, we write and discuss everyday, and i get some of the "worst" students to participate. this is what i have always done, because I LOVE IT! why can't people understand that? my principal is always raving about how amazing my classroom looks and how engaging my lessons are and i think some of the other teachers are feeling resentful. i mean, a lot of them complain. they complain about how 'slow' the kids are and how much more work they have to do because many of our 9th graders are on a 7th grade level. but for me, i always see the best in a kid in spite of their flaws. YES, many of them are behind, YES, some of them don't have that much parental support, YES, some of them are lazy, YES, you literally have to pull stuff out of their heads but.....I FUCKING LOVE DOING THAT! IT EXCITES ME! and i'm thinking that if these other teachers are having such a problem, why don't they go teach in a private school where everything will be "perfect?"
at the end of the discussion we got into language. these teachers were saying our kids can't talk "properly". i made the point that telling students that the way they speak is wrong is also telling them that who they are is wrong. i always do a series of lessons on codeswitching which i have started already. i introduced this because i wanted students to think about how they change how they speak depending on their environment. i also tell students the necessity of codeswitching is essential to survival in our country. yet still, i would never correct a student when they say, "i be acting crazy." as long as students understand that they would never put that in a formal essay, i let it go. i want students to feel free in my classroom and that is something i have always fostered into my teaching style. i also learned a lot from my linguistics class which i took while doing my masters. there were several studies that were done which proved that vocabulary and spelling tests do not work to build up a child's word bank. instead, incessant reading on a daily basis builds a child's vocabulary. it has been proven! the most vocabulary i ever learned was in my english teacher Mr. Guc's class. he would write a word on the board with a definition every day. we had to copy it down in our notebooks. Mr. Guc would use the words throughout the week in class discussions, etc. That was it. We were never tested on the words, ever! and i remember all of the words, and the definitions, because of his techniques in the classroom. I would even use the words in my papers, homework, because i wanted to!
language is power. most people of color are speaking a language of a colonizer. we don't even know our original language, which wasn't english or spanish. the english and the spanish colonized us and forced their language onto us. we had no choice. is it fair for us to now force these languages down the throats of our students, without acknowledging the many different types of language they use on a daily basis? that is racist, one-sided, and biased. and guess what, all of these teachers were black. sigh.
peace & nappiness
Sunday, September 28, 2008
my life, my life. my life.
so i started a poetry blog in addition to this one, and i am happy about it. i have been posting a lot more on my poetry blog, because, well, i'm obsessed with poetry more than anything else. i am really enjoying having a very public poetry blog and i hope it will help in the future when and if ever my book(s) are published. i have faith.
last week was intense. let's start with the positive. my husband and i have been hanging out, OUTSIDE of the house. now, if you knew my husband, you would know that is a big deal! i do believe that my husband has been suffering from a serious bout of homesickness, and a friend encouraged me to inquire about the normal time for homesickness to last for immigrants in the usa. from what i found, it is really a never-ending feeling. over time it gets better and the suggested homesick period is 1-2 years! WHAT?! sometimes i sit and think about everything he left behind to be here and i realize that he has sacrificed a lot: his home, his friends, job, family, car, etc. i know it is not easy and i have been trying to be as understanding as possible. he has been getting better. after our ridiculous phone argument, i literally ignored him for 3 full days. it was so hard for me, but i had to do it, because he was driving me insane! lol. after 3 days, he started to try really hard to get my attention. i gave in, and things have been great. he took me out on a date last sunday. he had the day off, and surprised me! he usually works on sundays. that was great. and during the week he would bring dinner home from several restaurants near his job, which was sweet and really thoughtful, because he would bring all of my favorites!
it does feel good to just smile and relax together, because we love each other! we are just both very stubborn, "do-it-my-way" kind of people. and sometimes, one of us MUST let go or we will kill each other. hehe. i also believe prayers have helped.
moving on. school is still great! i love my students. they are so damn cute. i am wrapping up the first unit which is narrative writing! they wrote some amazing stuff! many of the boys wrote about love, which shocked me.....it's usually the girls. already i am seeing all of the budding relationships and it really takes me back to my hs memories. the socializing in the hallway, the kissing in the hallway (haha, that was me!) the studying! those were the good old days. now i'm married and old. haha.
however, one bad thing did happen at school last week. my ipod was stolen. now let me be clear, it was stolen AFTER school, not when the students were around, which means it was an adult. when i left my classroom, i had to go to a professional development meeting in manhattan. when i left two teachers, who are always in my room (they are cool) were still in there. i locked the doors and told them to close the doors behind them. everything was locked and after putting my ipod in my drawer, i could have sworn i locked it (because i always do)! i leave my ipod in my classroom because that is where i use it and listen to it most. anyway, i walk in the next morning and my desk is open and it is gone! i was so angry! then i find out there was a PTA meeting in my room that night? wtf?! i immediately went to the principal and asked why i wasn't notified of the meeting. he told me it was a last minute decision and so that is why i didn't know. sigh. i told him my ipod was stolen. he felt terrible. the crazy thing is that i think it was one of the teachers who was in my room. but of course, i don't know. i feel so violated. i feel like i can't trust people anymore, it is terrible. the teacher, who i believe did it, came to me the very next day trying to be 'extra' nice. i wasn't being too friendly, so she goes: "what is wrong with you?" i explained to her that my ipod was stolen and she reacted like a suspect. she goes: "was it right here?" as she said that she pointed to exactly where it was, which i thought was suspicious! then she goes: "oh they probably took mine too, cuz i left mine on my desk!" who would say that if they didn't take it? I WANT TO SMACK HER! i really believe in my heart that it was her. but you know what? karma is a bitch and it will come back to her. but it was my entire music collection: 3000 songs and i dont have them backed up on my computer (long story)...SIGH!
anyway, the principal says i will be reimbursed for half of the ipod because he feels responsible. i feel a little better, but now i am on a mission to get my songs back! ahhhhh. anyway, life is still beautiful!
in other news, someone from my posse is pregnant! her wedding is on oct. 11th and she just found out she is pregnant! i am so happy for her. her fiance is amazing and i think they are a good match. this will be my first wedding i have ever attended that wasn't mine! i am excited. my first wedding i attended, was mine! haha. so yeah. when she broke the news to me, she goes, "when are you going to get pregnant?" ahhhhh. here we go. once again, i have something else to think about (not that i ever stopped).....ahhhhhhh!
peace, love & nappiness
p.s. i really want to go to the afrocentric store and buy a long dress with africa on the back....
p.p.s. I LOVE MY LOCS!
last week was intense. let's start with the positive. my husband and i have been hanging out, OUTSIDE of the house. now, if you knew my husband, you would know that is a big deal! i do believe that my husband has been suffering from a serious bout of homesickness, and a friend encouraged me to inquire about the normal time for homesickness to last for immigrants in the usa. from what i found, it is really a never-ending feeling. over time it gets better and the suggested homesick period is 1-2 years! WHAT?! sometimes i sit and think about everything he left behind to be here and i realize that he has sacrificed a lot: his home, his friends, job, family, car, etc. i know it is not easy and i have been trying to be as understanding as possible. he has been getting better. after our ridiculous phone argument, i literally ignored him for 3 full days. it was so hard for me, but i had to do it, because he was driving me insane! lol. after 3 days, he started to try really hard to get my attention. i gave in, and things have been great. he took me out on a date last sunday. he had the day off, and surprised me! he usually works on sundays. that was great. and during the week he would bring dinner home from several restaurants near his job, which was sweet and really thoughtful, because he would bring all of my favorites!
it does feel good to just smile and relax together, because we love each other! we are just both very stubborn, "do-it-my-way" kind of people. and sometimes, one of us MUST let go or we will kill each other. hehe. i also believe prayers have helped.
moving on. school is still great! i love my students. they are so damn cute. i am wrapping up the first unit which is narrative writing! they wrote some amazing stuff! many of the boys wrote about love, which shocked me.....it's usually the girls. already i am seeing all of the budding relationships and it really takes me back to my hs memories. the socializing in the hallway, the kissing in the hallway (haha, that was me!) the studying! those were the good old days. now i'm married and old. haha.
however, one bad thing did happen at school last week. my ipod was stolen. now let me be clear, it was stolen AFTER school, not when the students were around, which means it was an adult. when i left my classroom, i had to go to a professional development meeting in manhattan. when i left two teachers, who are always in my room (they are cool) were still in there. i locked the doors and told them to close the doors behind them. everything was locked and after putting my ipod in my drawer, i could have sworn i locked it (because i always do)! i leave my ipod in my classroom because that is where i use it and listen to it most. anyway, i walk in the next morning and my desk is open and it is gone! i was so angry! then i find out there was a PTA meeting in my room that night? wtf?! i immediately went to the principal and asked why i wasn't notified of the meeting. he told me it was a last minute decision and so that is why i didn't know. sigh. i told him my ipod was stolen. he felt terrible. the crazy thing is that i think it was one of the teachers who was in my room. but of course, i don't know. i feel so violated. i feel like i can't trust people anymore, it is terrible. the teacher, who i believe did it, came to me the very next day trying to be 'extra' nice. i wasn't being too friendly, so she goes: "what is wrong with you?" i explained to her that my ipod was stolen and she reacted like a suspect. she goes: "was it right here?" as she said that she pointed to exactly where it was, which i thought was suspicious! then she goes: "oh they probably took mine too, cuz i left mine on my desk!" who would say that if they didn't take it? I WANT TO SMACK HER! i really believe in my heart that it was her. but you know what? karma is a bitch and it will come back to her. but it was my entire music collection: 3000 songs and i dont have them backed up on my computer (long story)...SIGH!
anyway, the principal says i will be reimbursed for half of the ipod because he feels responsible. i feel a little better, but now i am on a mission to get my songs back! ahhhhh. anyway, life is still beautiful!
in other news, someone from my posse is pregnant! her wedding is on oct. 11th and she just found out she is pregnant! i am so happy for her. her fiance is amazing and i think they are a good match. this will be my first wedding i have ever attended that wasn't mine! i am excited. my first wedding i attended, was mine! haha. so yeah. when she broke the news to me, she goes, "when are you going to get pregnant?" ahhhhh. here we go. once again, i have something else to think about (not that i ever stopped).....ahhhhhhh!
peace, love & nappiness
p.s. i really want to go to the afrocentric store and buy a long dress with africa on the back....
p.p.s. I LOVE MY LOCS!
Monday, September 22, 2008
the best sunday ever
i woke up to see you
still at home
it was sunday.
you always work on sundays,
but not this one.
you took the day off,
in order to surprise me,
and i was so happy
as i smiled widely,
from one cheek to the other,
i saw your heart grow bigger and bigger
because of the glow you caused
within me.
as we sat on the bed peacefully,
knowing that neither one of us had to "hustle"
that day
you asked if i wanted to go out.
i thought to myself
"is this a date?"
and it was.
and we went out.
together.
i loved being with you
in public
for all eyes to see
just how much you mean to me.
you had your first vanilla latte
and i stared
falling in love with you
all over again.
you smiled at me
as if i were the only person on earth
and i took joy
in this sweet sunday
spent with you.
we ate. and i spent my time
looking at the way you held your burger
you had a firm grip as if you were afraid to let it go.
oh how i envied the burger at that moment.
we laughed at how bad our burgers tasted.
but we knew it wasn't about the burgers,
it was the date that made us smile.
you surprised me,
like a storm,
the same way you surprised me
when we met.
and for yesterday,
i am thankful
for you,
and for us-
our love.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
hump day :-)
today is hump day! the weeks seem to be flying by this school year. as i sit here in my classroom, i hope my lesson on drafting our narratives go well today. some students already have a full draft, and others don't. i need to make sure that i am helping the at risk students while the students who have no problem working on their own are actually doing work! it has been good so far.
i am feeling good. perhaps it is because i am wearing a BRIGHT ORANGE button-down shirt. yay! i also used my BRIGHT ORANGE tote bag today, purchased by my momma. today is a short day for the students (every wednesday) so the teachers can have time for meetings, updates etc. i love our short days! i only teach two classes today. therefore, i hope i get lots of work done, especially all of the papers i have to grade.
my husband is being nice to me again. sigh. he is so damn moody. and why am i still crazy about someone who is a complete maniac?! sigh again. anyhow, i am taking things one day at a time, while holding my ground. i really think N would benefit from seeing a counselor of some sort. however, it is quite difficult to convince an african man to go see a shrink. he has actually admitted to the fact that he should see one. i guess that is a step right?
in other news, my friend gave me some advice that the next time N pulls that phone thing, i should say that i'm expecting a call! interestingly enough, that is the same thing my mom said! hahaha. i guess i will try that. i actually ignored him for the past 3 days and i must admit, it felt good to see him going crazy, wondering why i wouldn't speak. oh, the childish games we continue to play.
love, sweet, bitter, confusing, yet lovely, love.
peace & nappiness
Saturday, September 13, 2008
where do i begin?
school is in full swing and i am really getting into the groove of things. my students seem to be understanding the unit which is writing personal narratives. next week we are going to get into drafting our narratives based on the techniques i have taught them as well as what they have learned from reading other narratives. it is going well and i am really loving my new school.
at my new school we have daily morning meetings where we talk about what we plan on doing for the week, our plans for our students, and anything else that is pertinent to being a teacher/administrator/school aid/dean, etc. i love this sense of unity and community. my principal has already observed me and it was great. he always checks in on everyone and afterwards we have a full discussion. the discussion was as if i was talking to a great friend as opposed to my principal. he told me positive things and offered suggestions to make things even better. it wasn't like: "this was wrong" or "you shouldn't do that". i am actually treated like a professional. they also don't check lesson plans here, so i don't feel like a child or an incompetent teacher. my colleagues are really smart and we all push each other to find new and innovative ways of working with our students. speaking of students there is one in particular...
his name is ryan. he is an amazing poet, with a strong sense of voice and delivery and every morning for the free write he comes up with these elaborate poems. this of course has inspired me and i asked my principal if i could start a slam poetry team, in order to get some students' talents off the ground. he agreed. so i will start that next quarter which is in 6 weeks. so exciting.
today was a great day! i went out and met an old friend from college who drove up from d.c. she is great and is a painter. we talked all day, about books, love, life, etc. then, we went to a thrift store. I LOVE THRIFT STORES! i have always loved thrift stores since i was like 13. i got three amazing tops that are literally OUT OF THIS WORLD. one of them is a black mesh sweater that has HUGE green sparkly sleeves. super cute and super ME. then i got an indian style shirt that is purple with GOLD trim all over it. fabulous. i also got this black shirt-dress. the one that looks like an extra long button down shirt. it is great and fits just right. i plan on wearing them with the purple spandex i bought on monday. i love the new stuff i got today. ahhh.
in other news, N and i got into a very minor debate this morning, but it is still bothering me. our house phone rang at 7:00 am. N wakes up to get the phone and misses the call, and brings the phone into the room and puts it on the nightstand. me, being curious about who would call at 7am, i ask "who was that"? he looks at me with an annoyed look and replies "WHAT?!" i was like "who was that"? he goes: "it was an unknown #"....afterwards, i had no idea he was bothered by this, but he was. when he was finally ready for work, he goes, "hey i'm leaving, and i hope you enjoy YOUR phone!" i was like: 'what are you talking about?!" he then went on to say that i know that his friends from ghana sometimes call at that time because of the 5-hour time difference. BUT they KNOW it's a 5-hour difference so why can't they calculate that it's too damn early to call? but, in ghanaian culture, anytime is a good time to call. i don't like that shit because it woke me up and i need my damn rest. anyway, i just came home from hanging with my friend and N was already in bed (at 8:35pm) sleeping. i know him, that is a sign that he is mad for whatever reason. he is a night owl. i came in and said hello and he kind of lifted his head and said hello. wtf?! i really cannot stand his sometimes childish ways. it really just takes us backward instead of forward. he was upset because i asked who called. the call could have been for me! it is not HIS phone it is OUR house phone, and i pay bills in this bitch so i can ask whatever i want, whenever i want! am i wrong? i know i'm not but i just had to ask myself that one more time. sometimes i feel as if i'm always trying really hard to understand N but he is not necessarily doing the same for me. anyway, i'm in our bedroom now writing this entry. i'm not sad, just annoyed. anyway, life is still beautiful and i am still blessed. it is just one of those relationship annoyances.
peace, love & nappiness
at my new school we have daily morning meetings where we talk about what we plan on doing for the week, our plans for our students, and anything else that is pertinent to being a teacher/administrator/school aid/dean, etc. i love this sense of unity and community. my principal has already observed me and it was great. he always checks in on everyone and afterwards we have a full discussion. the discussion was as if i was talking to a great friend as opposed to my principal. he told me positive things and offered suggestions to make things even better. it wasn't like: "this was wrong" or "you shouldn't do that". i am actually treated like a professional. they also don't check lesson plans here, so i don't feel like a child or an incompetent teacher. my colleagues are really smart and we all push each other to find new and innovative ways of working with our students. speaking of students there is one in particular...
his name is ryan. he is an amazing poet, with a strong sense of voice and delivery and every morning for the free write he comes up with these elaborate poems. this of course has inspired me and i asked my principal if i could start a slam poetry team, in order to get some students' talents off the ground. he agreed. so i will start that next quarter which is in 6 weeks. so exciting.
today was a great day! i went out and met an old friend from college who drove up from d.c. she is great and is a painter. we talked all day, about books, love, life, etc. then, we went to a thrift store. I LOVE THRIFT STORES! i have always loved thrift stores since i was like 13. i got three amazing tops that are literally OUT OF THIS WORLD. one of them is a black mesh sweater that has HUGE green sparkly sleeves. super cute and super ME. then i got an indian style shirt that is purple with GOLD trim all over it. fabulous. i also got this black shirt-dress. the one that looks like an extra long button down shirt. it is great and fits just right. i plan on wearing them with the purple spandex i bought on monday. i love the new stuff i got today. ahhh.
in other news, N and i got into a very minor debate this morning, but it is still bothering me. our house phone rang at 7:00 am. N wakes up to get the phone and misses the call, and brings the phone into the room and puts it on the nightstand. me, being curious about who would call at 7am, i ask "who was that"? he looks at me with an annoyed look and replies "WHAT?!" i was like "who was that"? he goes: "it was an unknown #"....afterwards, i had no idea he was bothered by this, but he was. when he was finally ready for work, he goes, "hey i'm leaving, and i hope you enjoy YOUR phone!" i was like: 'what are you talking about?!" he then went on to say that i know that his friends from ghana sometimes call at that time because of the 5-hour time difference. BUT they KNOW it's a 5-hour difference so why can't they calculate that it's too damn early to call? but, in ghanaian culture, anytime is a good time to call. i don't like that shit because it woke me up and i need my damn rest. anyway, i just came home from hanging with my friend and N was already in bed (at 8:35pm) sleeping. i know him, that is a sign that he is mad for whatever reason. he is a night owl. i came in and said hello and he kind of lifted his head and said hello. wtf?! i really cannot stand his sometimes childish ways. it really just takes us backward instead of forward. he was upset because i asked who called. the call could have been for me! it is not HIS phone it is OUR house phone, and i pay bills in this bitch so i can ask whatever i want, whenever i want! am i wrong? i know i'm not but i just had to ask myself that one more time. sometimes i feel as if i'm always trying really hard to understand N but he is not necessarily doing the same for me. anyway, i'm in our bedroom now writing this entry. i'm not sad, just annoyed. anyway, life is still beautiful and i am still blessed. it is just one of those relationship annoyances.
peace, love & nappiness
Thursday, September 4, 2008
back to school!
whew! it has been a whirlwind of emotions over the past two weeks. i must say all of these emotions have been positive! YES! first of all i went back to work last week and i must say that i feel very connected to my colleagues. although everyone has their own personality and style, everyone seems to be thoroughly invested in children! most importantly, everyone supports each other and SHARES materials. i love it.
of course being in a new school doesn't feel fully comfortable yet. i don't know the students yet and i'm still getting adjusted to the building, etc. i really love my classroom. it is looking great. my school is 95% african-american, so i have lots of posters of beautiful black people everywhere. i also have tons of inspirational quotes all over the room. ahhhh. it took a while to get it together, but i am liking the final product.
my students are great. i am so happy to be working at a high school. i love how much older the kids are and also their amazing sense of style. the students are really receptive to me and interestingly enough, they like my style. haha. there have been some young men who have stopped by my room trying to flirt! i was like: OH HELL NO! i am your teacher and you better behave! period. they are too much already.
for the first time in my teaching career i know exactly what i want my students to learn for the whole year and how i want them to learn it. i think that is because all of our curriculums are student-focused and inquiry based which is so much more my style. most importantly, i am not teaching to a state test, which is AMAZING! i can think about my lessons, without thinking of dumb ass multiple choice questions or random short response questions to culturally biased articles. our curriculum is all about identity and the self which are two things i love discussing and which students also like to discuss. good stuff. tomorrow we are going to get into narrative writing and what it means to write a narrative. i am really excited. i cannot wait until they write their own personal narratives!
on the homefront, things are going really well. my husband and i have really improved how we understand each other over the past month and i am so grateful. we talk more about everything and we have learned more about what makes us "tick"! since i went back to work, N (my husband) has been making my lunch for me early in the morning before i go to work. he makes amazing sauteed veggies...ahhhh. i told him he can just make it the night before, but he insists on making it in the morning, because they will be fresh! haha. i dont argue. hehe. i love him.
i am currently on a prep. i taught the entire morning, so i was looking forward to this prep. i should probably organize some papers but i am so tired. teaching can be very exhausting and emotionally overwhelming. however, i told myself that this year i am NEVER taking work home! i always come in 90 minutes early and i always stay for an extra hour until 4:30. that is my prep time for grading, organizing, parent phone calls, etc. i have a life and my life is not my job, although my job/career is extremely important to me.
well, i' m tired and hungry. let me grab a snack from the bodega!
peace & nappiness
p.s. more to come about glamour magazine. one of the editors asked me for more samples of my work. we will see. the meeting was great and she loves "size me" and wants to use it for an article about women in the usa and body image. she is still doing research, so only time will tell.
p.p.s. finally, the book (travelogue) that i have been working on for 4 years is DONE! it is FINISHED. it's edited and ready to go. i am going to publish the book on a site called blurb.com. it allows you to create your own books and publish them WITHOUT losing your publishing rights. i am ready to market myself and sell the book. i plan on advertising via facebook, word of mouth, readings, etc. more to come about that!
p.p.p.s. my next project is a volume of poetry/essays on LOVE!
Sunday, August 24, 2008
oh yeah, about freeforming...
so in an earlier post, i stated that i would be freeforming my locs, meaning not retwisting the roots, because in my heart i feel that is the real reason i went natural. however, after a month of no retwisting, my roots are HUGE and have started locking together and becoming matted, because my hair is very thick, coarse, and kinky! so, um yeah, i retwisted it yesterday. i realized that with my hair, it would be tougher to continuously pull the roots apart (and painful!). i love my locs, but i will continue to retwist once a month. and i have come to the conclusion that....it's ok! i will forever love lauryn hill's locs and of course bob marley's locs. YAY FOR LOCS!!! and i give so much credit to the freeformers!
peace & nappiness
peace & nappiness
blessed
there are so many things to be thankful for at this time in my life. first and foremost, i am healthy and i am thankful for that. secondly, my husband and i have been having an amazing month, which is such a good sign for us. i truly believe it was the power of prayer and the strength of my family that helped me get through the trying times, when it seemed as if my husband and i just didn't seem to be understanding each other. after writing my husband a 4-page letter, it really made him reflect and begin to change things. i must say that this month, the changes have been consistent, and i know that my husband loves me so much, just by the thoughtful and caring things he does for me on a daily basis. i am also learning more about him and understanding that it is not my job to try to change him, but to love him for who he is, and appreciate all of the great things he does. a wise married friend (who just had a baby! yay!) gave me that wonderful advice. and i'm learning, day-by-day that it is true.
they say you can tell how much someone loves you by the way they look at you. i believe that to be true. the eyes never lie. even in friendships, you know who your genuine friends are, and who they are not. in terms of friendships, i am realizing that i have such wonderful people in my corner, and for that i am grateful.
i have been planning lessons and writing units and i feel proud of myself because i have units planned until november. now i am writing the lessons for school and i already have the first week planned out. i have never been this organized before school even started, and so i'm feeling like i am going to have a strong year. i already feel pretty comfortable with my principal as well as the head of the english dept. i met with them this week and they gave me great feedback on my units. great constructive criticism! i go back to work earlier than normal. i will be back on tues! ahhhh, summer is over. wow. i must say that the summer was a serious time of reflection for me. i learned so much about my life, about love and about marriage. i also relaxed a lot which i think was vital for myself and my health.
some interesting news. glamour magazine got a hold of one of my poems (via a friend who works there). i didn't know my friend (who i haven't talked to in years) passed my poem along. so it was shocking to me when she told me that one of the editors wants to see me....TOMORROW AT 1PM! isn't that nutty? i have no expectations. i am just going to talk about my work and i will be myself. they said they may want to include an excerpt of one of my poems in a future article. we shall see. of course that is great publicity, but i'm not getting too excited...yet. nonetheless, i feel very flattered to even have this meeting in the first place. writing is my life. it's in my heart. when i get to talk about it, or share with someone else, it feels good. i haven't been going to poetry readings anymore, not because i don't love them, but because i feel that the ones in nyc have become so trite and superficial and i just refuse to take part in that. i want to be surrounded by real writers who take writing seriously. not wannabe artists who just want instant "fame." oh boy, i'm not even going to get into that. but i do miss the stage and the microphone. i was thinking of starting a writer's group in my apt on saturday afternoons. we shall see.
for now, i am happy and healthy and so thankful.
peace & nappiness
p.s. prayers to all my family, friends, and of course the latest addition, baby lia :-)
p.p.s. i got a day planner book and it feels GRRREEEAATT!!!
they say you can tell how much someone loves you by the way they look at you. i believe that to be true. the eyes never lie. even in friendships, you know who your genuine friends are, and who they are not. in terms of friendships, i am realizing that i have such wonderful people in my corner, and for that i am grateful.
i have been planning lessons and writing units and i feel proud of myself because i have units planned until november. now i am writing the lessons for school and i already have the first week planned out. i have never been this organized before school even started, and so i'm feeling like i am going to have a strong year. i already feel pretty comfortable with my principal as well as the head of the english dept. i met with them this week and they gave me great feedback on my units. great constructive criticism! i go back to work earlier than normal. i will be back on tues! ahhhh, summer is over. wow. i must say that the summer was a serious time of reflection for me. i learned so much about my life, about love and about marriage. i also relaxed a lot which i think was vital for myself and my health.
some interesting news. glamour magazine got a hold of one of my poems (via a friend who works there). i didn't know my friend (who i haven't talked to in years) passed my poem along. so it was shocking to me when she told me that one of the editors wants to see me....TOMORROW AT 1PM! isn't that nutty? i have no expectations. i am just going to talk about my work and i will be myself. they said they may want to include an excerpt of one of my poems in a future article. we shall see. of course that is great publicity, but i'm not getting too excited...yet. nonetheless, i feel very flattered to even have this meeting in the first place. writing is my life. it's in my heart. when i get to talk about it, or share with someone else, it feels good. i haven't been going to poetry readings anymore, not because i don't love them, but because i feel that the ones in nyc have become so trite and superficial and i just refuse to take part in that. i want to be surrounded by real writers who take writing seriously. not wannabe artists who just want instant "fame." oh boy, i'm not even going to get into that. but i do miss the stage and the microphone. i was thinking of starting a writer's group in my apt on saturday afternoons. we shall see.
for now, i am happy and healthy and so thankful.
peace & nappiness
p.s. prayers to all my family, friends, and of course the latest addition, baby lia :-)
p.p.s. i got a day planner book and it feels GRRREEEAATT!!!
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
thai food
im sitting here dreaming of thai food, lesson plans, my future, my hair, my poetry. ahhh, so much to think about. i didn't sleep last nite. i just couldnt sleep and i dont know why. it's usually a sign that something is about to happen or that something should happen. who knows. i am in a nostalgic/weird mood today. i think it's because i have so much to do. let's see if i get it all done.
peace & nappiness <3
peace & nappiness <3
Monday, August 18, 2008
oh love!
love is amazing. my husband and i have been having an amazing month! hanging out together, cooking together (as always, haha) talking more and just trying to understand each other more. i have also been praying more, which i know has helped tremendously. my husband also prays a lot. i feel so loved and so strong. i know this is because of the creator. i also have amazing friends who really helped me when times were rougher than rough. we are almost at the year mark of living together and it's almost 2 years of marriage. it feels a lot smoother than the first few months! ahhh. each day gets better and i am grateful.
in other news, i need to find a great way of keeping my life organized. i used to be so good at those agenda books, but then i always end up slacking off. the reality is....i need one, and i need to stick to it! so....i'm gonna get one today and i am also gonna do some lesson planning. i have already written two units (up until november). now all i need to do is write the lessons for those units which will be easy since the units are planned and the objectives are clear.
today is day # 2 of the fast. honestly i felt great yesterday. lots of energy. i am trying to get into a good yoga class (that is affordable!) i think it will really be good for me, but i need a cheap one. we shall see.
off to do some lesson plans and organize my life :-)
peace & nappiness <3
p.s. i am so excited about freeforming my hair!!! check out this great album of a freeformer!
http://members.fotki.com/Freeformedbeauty/about/
in other news, i need to find a great way of keeping my life organized. i used to be so good at those agenda books, but then i always end up slacking off. the reality is....i need one, and i need to stick to it! so....i'm gonna get one today and i am also gonna do some lesson planning. i have already written two units (up until november). now all i need to do is write the lessons for those units which will be easy since the units are planned and the objectives are clear.
today is day # 2 of the fast. honestly i felt great yesterday. lots of energy. i am trying to get into a good yoga class (that is affordable!) i think it will really be good for me, but i need a cheap one. we shall see.
off to do some lesson plans and organize my life :-)
peace & nappiness <3
p.s. i am so excited about freeforming my hair!!! check out this great album of a freeformer!
http://members.fotki.com/Freeformedbeauty/about/
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Freeforming & Fasting
i have locs (aka dreadlocks) and i absolutely love them! it has been 2 years since i started locking. before i started locking, i had loose natural hair. i made the decision to loc one day as i was sitting on the subway admiring a woman's locs, and right then and there, i said that locing was for me! it has been a great journey. i'm the sole woman in my family who wears her hair natural, nonetheless, they are all very supportive of my decision. for me, it isn't only a hairstyle, it is a lifestyle. with that said, i, for the most part, wear my hair "neatly" in other words a more manicured look. although i do like that look, i also love just washing my locs and letting it do its own thing. the times when i have washed my locs and "let them go" people often make comments like: "you need to do your hair"...a student told me that! or people say, wow, your hair is thick and beautiful, why don't you wear your locs like that all the time? i have always preferred the more "freeform" method which is basically wash and go. it means that you never manipulate your locs, meaning retwisting the roots. you just let the roots loc on their own. two prime examples of this locing method is lauryn hill and bob marley. i love their style of locs. also, the reason why i decided to loc, wasn't so it could always look the way "society" deems appropriate. i wanted to do it to embrace who i really am, and the beauty of my hair. so now, as of yesterday, i am beginning my freeforming loc journey. i haven't told anyone, not even my husband. i think if i tried to talk to him about it, he wouldn't understand. so, i am just gonna let it go, and he will eventually get the point. i attempted to tell my mom on the phone yesterday. it went like this:
me: mom, i'm thinking of freeforming my locs
mom: what is that?
me: it's when you stop retwisting the roots of your locs and just let them be
mom: oh no, i like the way your locs are now, nice and neat. don't do that! (in a stern voice)
me: yeah ok mom. whatever
i knew she wouldn't get it, so why did i try to tell her? i don't think anyone will get it, so i will just do it on my own. the end. i am actually really excited about this new journey and the new shape and look my locs will take on. i'm prepared for the random comments, but i really don't care, because this is my decision and this is me damnit!
in other news, i have also started a 10 day fast. today is day #1. i'm fasting because i started eating meat again, and i feel spiritually imbalanced. my body needs to be cleansed. now, when fasting, i'm not gonna starve. i will eat everyday after 5pm (kind of like the muslims during ramadan). before 5pm i will have black tea and water. after 5pm, i will indulge in lots of green vegetables. 10 days! i tried to tell my husband this morning, because obviously we eat together, and of course, he was like "why"? oh boy. mind you, my husband goes through his fasting methods and i let him be. when it's my turn, he starts asking all kinds of questions. i think my soul and my spirit needs a good fast.
last but not least, love is beautiful.
peace and nappiness <3
Sunday, August 10, 2008
wedding bbq and more...
one of my close friends got married in costa rica about 2 months ago. we went to college together. she married some rich, trader guy. he is interesting and older. whatever. she has always dated rich guys. to each his own. i'm really excited about going to her wedding bbq which is today in her parents' backyard in staten island. a lot of my friends from college will be there and i look forward to talking with some of them again. i found the best h&m dress at a thrift store yesterday. it's purple, a tube-dress, and HOT! unfortunately, my husband has to work so he can't come :-(
many of my friends still haven't met him and they keep asking when they will meet him. sigh. i wish he didn't have to work on weekends. but he does. another good week with my husband. he called me during his lunch break to come and have lunch with him on thursday. i was surprised and excited :-)
so yeah, tomorrow i'm spending the day with one of my closest friends. our friendship has gone through some ups and downs, but for some reason, i just love her. like, i don't know what i would do without her although we don't see each other all the time. she took the day off from work just to hang out with me, which of course, makes me feel loved and special. yup, i'm so corny.
last but not least, i'm very excited about teaching high school students in a few short weeks!
peace & nappiness <3
many of my friends still haven't met him and they keep asking when they will meet him. sigh. i wish he didn't have to work on weekends. but he does. another good week with my husband. he called me during his lunch break to come and have lunch with him on thursday. i was surprised and excited :-)
so yeah, tomorrow i'm spending the day with one of my closest friends. our friendship has gone through some ups and downs, but for some reason, i just love her. like, i don't know what i would do without her although we don't see each other all the time. she took the day off from work just to hang out with me, which of course, makes me feel loved and special. yup, i'm so corny.
last but not least, i'm very excited about teaching high school students in a few short weeks!
peace & nappiness <3
Friday, August 8, 2008
psychotherapy
i have been going to a psychotherapist for the past 2 weeks. i really enjoy talking to this woman. she is calm. she listens. and she doesn't know me. all of those factors make her responses unbiased and real. i love her advice, but more importantly, i love being able to just talk to her and not feel judged. it's a nice outlet. i think i will go for at least a few more weeks. exciting.
in other news, i am preparing for the new school year. i have been working on the 9th grade curriculum which is all about identity and the self. the books we are reading are really well-written and i have enjoyed reading them. one is about a homeless teenager, the other about a pregnant teenager who overcomes serious obstacles. and of course some shakespeare (romeo & juliet) and catcher in the rye, a favorite of mine.
in the news of writing, let's just say good things are happening. more to come soon!
peace and nappiness <3
in other news, i am preparing for the new school year. i have been working on the 9th grade curriculum which is all about identity and the self. the books we are reading are really well-written and i have enjoyed reading them. one is about a homeless teenager, the other about a pregnant teenager who overcomes serious obstacles. and of course some shakespeare (romeo & juliet) and catcher in the rye, a favorite of mine.
in the news of writing, let's just say good things are happening. more to come soon!
peace and nappiness <3
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