143

is it because
i am a replica
of your image,
that i get lost
when i don't see
your reflection?

is it because
i am in sin
and insane
when you touch
me
legally,
because a piece of paper
has solidified us,
or has it?

is it because
i am in tune
and in touch
with my love
for you,
that i become
confused
when i do not see you?

is it because we didn't
see each other for so long,
that i become a song
unable to end
unless you sing?

is it because you are you
and i love to become blue in my thoughts
in order to decipher
your madness?

is it because
you are an enigma,
that i am drawn to the mystery
of your inequity?

is it because of the cause
of your existence,
that i sit under the pretense
of love's fence?

is it because you know me
more than most,
leaving me to boast highly
of your
perceptions
of my presence,
that i require your sense of stability?

is it because you are you
or because i am me,
why this love seems free?

i think it's because,

this is it.

guys night out...

so it's guys night out! a friend of my husband's came into town from rhode island. he is ok, pretty cool. i came home after they had been here for about two hours or so. everything was okay, and this particular friend seemed to be a bit quiet...but he is pretty weird! so he asked if i wouldn't mind showing him around new york (my husband and i). i said of course. then after 15 minutes, he decides that he wants to go visit a friend in queens. ok cool. whatever. so i was under the impression that he was going alone. my husband suddenly has his coat on and is going along for the ride...at first, i was just a bit surprised so i say to my husband: "oh! you are going too?"

he looks at me with that "honey-it's-a-guys-only" kind of look. i get the point and solemnly reply "ok." my husband knows me so well, so he looks me in the eye and says "honey, are you really okay? you are welcomed to come, it's just that only guys will be there, etc. i don't want you to be the only woman there...." so i just sigh and say "no it's ok, i'm fine."

as the men proceed to leave, i hold onto my husband like a child and stare into his eyes and say: "don't be long okay..." he holds me tight and says: "hon, i won't be long."

it's been an hour already and i'm really bored. hmmmm, am i too clingy, or am i just crazy in love?

anyhow, i still don't know how i feel about guys night out...it's a neccesary evil, but hey...i miss my boo.

one more thing...

i will finally have a master's degree as of this wednesday may 21, 2008. me and some other teach for america corps members are playing hooky and getting brunch ...hahaha. the joys of being an adult....AHEM! a MATURE adult....SMILE!

peace & nappiness

I GOT THE JOB!!!!

good news! i got the job at the school i loved! it's called brooklyn community for media and arts high school. check out the link: http://www.bcamhs.org/home.aspx
i am soooo excited. i found out on friday and i was ecstatic. i went to do the demo lesson on wednesday. the principal called me on friday morning. this is how his message went:

"hey crystal belle. this is the principal at bcam. we want you to work here next year and for the next 25 years! i hope you will accept our offer."

this message truly made my day on friday, especially considering all of the rain!

the weekend turned out to be great. my baby and i took the staten island ferry for fun! he got to see all of the sights since he is still new to this "land of the the free." haha. so yeah, we got a great close up of the statue of liberty. afterwards, we visited ground zero. that was traumatic...as always. finally my husband got a suit for his interview tomorrow at the plaza hotel! he is super excited and i pray to the lord he gets the position. he looked extra hot in the suit (ooh la la!). when he tried it on in the store i kept saying: "wow baby, you look sooo good in that suit." he blushed and shook his head as if he didn't care.....i know he did! haha.

so i guess i have to break the news to my current principal very soon. sigh. that shall be interesting. he really really likes me and is practically eating out of the palm of my hand...but, i need a better school, with a dedicated staff! it's not that much fun being one of few dedicated teachers. that is the position i am in now. that will change soon! so yeah, the principal at the new school just asked me if i would like to teach summer school....i think NOT...that is my time to WRITE, WRITE, WRITE!

well, i am off to read my trashy novel, then off to bed. it's almost 9pm! almost past my bedtime! yes, i'm usually in bed by 10pm. i don't play! esp, since i wake up at 5:15 everyday.

peace & nappiness

p.s. i curled my locs and they look FIERCE!!!

another teaching day

so yesterday, i thought i had an interview. come to find out, the interview was actually on saturday! sigh. so i missed my interview at the williamsburg charter high school on saturday morning. i got confused with the dates because i kept telling myself: "they can't have interviews on a saturday!" apparently...they do! anyhow, i had already taken the day off as a "family emergency" and was prepared to go to my interview. late sunday night i decided to check my email and there it was: "you have an interview on may 10, 2008" oh shit! it's now the 11th (this was my sunday reaction!) so at that point (it was 11pm) i couldn't possibly write lessons and get it together for the next day. and what would i say when i walked in: "the family emergency is over?" sigh. so i stayed home, read books, and watched movies with my husband. it was amazing, especially with all the rain. but i must admit, i did feel guilty! whatever!!!

today is going okay so far. i feel good. well rested. i introduced my english students to our final unit of the year: poetry! they sighed at first and looked annoyed. but once we got into haikus....THEY LOVED IT! it was so amazing. many of my students wrote some pretty spectacular haikus. first i gave them some examples of haikus. then i gave them haikus with missing lines, and they had to fill the lines in according to how many syllables were needed, etc. it turned out to be a good lesson. speaking of lessons, i have to present another lesson at the brooklyn community and media arts high school tomorrow. it is a 20-minute lesson on romeo and juliet....woohoo! i still have no idea what i am going to do. we will see!

anyhow, i have to go cover the save room next period. most of the kids in in the room are either on probation or have serious behavioral problems. i actually detest tuesdays, just because of this class...sigh.

last but not least, my hubby has a job interview on weds. it is a phone interview to work at the exclusive plaza hotel. i hope it goes well :-)

peace & nappiness

So much to decide, so little time!!!

wow. so i attempted to write a post the other day, but fell asleep while getting it together. haha. it was a long week! i had an amazing interview at a new school. i really liked the school. it's called brooklyn community media arts high school. it's an alternative high school with a strong focus on journalism. because i love journalism, i was immediately interested in this school. they got back to me almost immediately and scheduled me for a group interview, which is their procedure for hiring. i was kind of annoyed because i'm thinking to myself, i have been teaching for 2 years, and i don't need to be treated like "oooh i've never seen a classroom, i'm scared." anywho, i did the 3-hour long interview, which was tfa style: a discussion, 5-minute demo lesson, and a personal interview. i knew it went well because i seemed to make everyone smile, laugh and think. they called me the very next day and asked me to come in on weds. afternoon (coming up this week) to do a lesson for the 10th grade english class on romeo and juliet. it's apparent that they most likely want to hire me, but why another lesson? sigh. this is too much. although i really liked the teachers, and thought the overall school atmosphere was positive, the school was extremely small and on the floor of another school building. also, the lighting in the building was extremely dim, which i know over time would make me depressed. sigh. so what do i do?

i have an interview at a charter high school tomorrow morning. i am really excited because the school sounds like an intellectual haven, filled with lots of room for professinal development. it is called the williamsburg charter high school. strong curriculum, smart students, and an intensive charter environment, which i think would be much better for me. plus, more pay of course...hey, i have to admit that i must think about my salary. whew. so tomorrow is the big day and i must say that i am feeling interviewed out! i just want it to be over and secure another position for next year. my interview tomorrow includes a school tour, and a roundtable interview with administrators, teachers, and students! i think that is such a cool concept and i cannot wait! so hopefully at the end of this week, i will have secured a position elsewhere...

in other news, one of my students sent me a "happy mother's day email". it was so sweet. she wrote: "i know you are not a mother yet, but you are like a mother to me, and when you have kids they are going to be so lucky to have you." that made me cry...awww, i love my students so much. i really do.

i sent my mom and mother-in-law mother's day plants/bouquets...although it was a bit pricey, they both loved it!!! that made me happy. HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

my husband and i got a new bed yesterday! it's a sleigh bed and its amazing. to make a long story short, we BROKE our last bed....AHEM! AHEM! won't get into those details, but let's just say, we show each other intense amounts of affection...hahaha. so yeah, this new bed will never break down. in the furniture store, my husband kept grapping the headboards of each bed to ensure sturdiness. haha. one woman stared as he did this and he said: "please excuse us, but we have experience with beds not being strong." hahaha. i couldn't even look the woman in the eye at that point. so anyway, NEW SLEIGH BED IN THE HOUSE!!!

last but not least, i cannot wait to have children. i just cannot wait. ahhhhhhh, what a beautiful day it will be.

peace & nappiness

love is in the air

i am in love, and it feels good. today my husband and i went food shopping and it was fun. we got some great fish: red snapper and he is currently cooking it at this very moment. it smells good and i cannot wait to eat.

although his adjustment to this country has been filled with ups and downs, i think there has been more ups than downs and i feel that we are really in a good place. it feels good. he now takes the train everywhere by himself and feels comfortable. when he first got here, he would cringe at all of the people in this city and how crowded everything seemed. now he seems like a true new yorker.

teaching is going well. the school year is winding down, and i must say that professionally i feel great. i really made a difference in my classroom and it shows. some of my worst students (ie: marcos) is now one of the best students in my class. he wrote an amazing essay the other day. i am just so proud! even though david is still a talkaholic, seeing him every day makes me smile. and of course there is zawditu, who is now starting her locs....ahhhhh....I LOVE MY STUDENTS!

i got another call today to teach at a charter school in manhattan next year. it is called the ross school. honestly, the school seems really intense, with a college-style curriculum (at the jhs level) and longer work days (with much more pay)....but i am starting to wonder if a charter school is really for me? hmmmm. my interview is on may 22nd. i look forward to checking out the school. the high school in my neighborhood is hiring! honestly, that is the place where i really want to work. it is down the block and i can WALK to work! could you imagine how amazing that would be? it is a small alternative high school and another teach for america person works there and told me he loves it! small class sizes and all. ahhhh....i hope i hear back from them. they say they take 2 weeks to contact you and i just sent them my resume on saturday....cross your fingers. do i go for more money? or do i go for comfort + a neighborhood school? hard choices.

ok, the food is almost ready. i guess it's time to go for now.

peace & nappiness